When an individual develops such an addiction, they start getting emotionally sick. They are unable to balance life and pay attention to their personal bonding with family members, friends and partners. Sex addiction can go to the extent of breaking marriages and associations. When sex gains priority over every other thing in life, people may also start cheating on their partners and may remain involved in sexual activities outside their marriages. This is because they receive exhilaration along with emotional stimulation from frequent sexual activities. If these people are caught, then there is no way they can save their marriages or romantic relationships. In contrast to this, sex addicts can hardly help themselves when they are caught in addiction. Although they sometimes feel ashamed and guilty about their over-involvement in sexual activities and also develop a fear of being caught red-handed, there is hardly anything they can do about mending their behaviour. The more they remain involved in their addiction, the stronger it goes on becoming.
You may usually identify sex addicts by their excessive involvement in pornography, online chats, secret planning, prostitution, voyeurism, compulsive masturbation, etc. Their sexual behaviour essentially remains out of control. Sex addiction is not only harmful for marital and personal relationships, but is also dangerous to one’s own life. In women, it may lead to unwanted pregnancies and other complications. Some people may also catch sexual diseases like AIDS when they get involved in frequent sex with different partners. A few addicts may even commit sexual offenses that lead them to legal troubles. Sex addiction not only spoils family bonds, but can also cause harm to a person’s social standing and professional career. Basically, it is devastating to one’s life. Only a proper treatment program at the right time can save an individual from shame.
A person becomes a sex addict when he/she no longer has control on his sexual urge. At this stage, they may completely spoil their social and personal life, thus leading to shame and guilt.
How sexual addiction can ruin your life
Being a basic human instinct, sex is an inseparable part of life. It helps the world to procreate and helps to boost closeness and bonding between partners. However, too much of everything is always bad for health. Too much of sexual addiction can harm a person’s health, can turn the person from normal to a sex maniac which can lead one to many complications in the long run. Extreme addiction of sex is a condition where an individual develops a weird obsession towards sex. He dreams of sex, he longs for sex all the time, and he is frustrated at the thought of not fulfilling his sexual desires. Such an individual develops diseases like hypersexual activity, increased and frequent sexual urge. The reason behind sex addiction is not properly known. So, owing to our limited knowledge, it can have very adverse effect on individuals.
Extreme sex addiction can result in unnatural behaviour in a person. An obsessive sex maniac can end up searching for sex partners on Internet websites, exposing him to numerous people who can take undue advantage of him.
2. Bad for family
A sex addict also starts ignoring his family responsibilities. He creates his own world of fantasy, and he starts dreaming about the same in every single step.
3. Risk of STDs
A sex addict usually has sex with more than one partner, which is very dangerous for him. Sex with multiple partners can result in sexually transmitted diseases like HIV and others.
4. Loss of wealth and peace of mind
In search of numerous and various sex partners, the sex addict starts losing his wealth and mind as well.
5. Low self-esteem
Too much of sex can force a person to develop low self-esteem. Consequences of this include shying away from friends and relatives, staying alone, not sharing anything with anyone, and ultimately frustration within himself.
If a man is too much addicted to sex, he starts visiting prostitutes, irrespective of the fact that he has a family behind. This is unethical, and he himself also knows that. This hampers his self-esteem as well.
The present generation finds delight in watching pornographic videos, pornographic magazines, practicing unsafe sex, which culminates in masturbation as well as visit to prostitutes. Not only sex, but any kind of addiction, and too much of anything is bad for health. Any addiction terribly injures a person’s character as well as his health.
7. Bad for health
Excessive addiction to masturbation can lead in deterioration of the person’s health, and provokes an unknown guilt in the affected person’s mind. Gradually, he starts feeling shy and shameful, and he coils up within his own shell becoming an introvert. His confidence reduces, and this hampers his image at the workplace. It can cause premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction.
Childhood trauma spurs sexual addiction
Addiction to sex can be dangerous and even deadly. According to psychological experts, it is more destructive than drugs and alcohol. Much research has been done on this topic and many psychologists are still working on finding out the exact reasons behind it.
Some think that the audacity in sexual behaviour stems from hidden feelings, which are deep rooted and linked with the patient’s past or childhood. There are times when we suddenly react in a moderately violent way or lash out on someone innocent due to stress we have been undergoing. In psychological terms, such reactions are often termed as ‘acting out’.
A traumatic or disturbed childhood can give rise to many psychological disorders. Unstable family life and violence faced at childhood takes away the chances of normal mental growth of a kid. The pent up emotions turn in the later years into sexual addiction and can lead to sexually abusive behaviour. A child gets his/ her emotional fulfilment from their family and parents. If they see parents fight with each other or engage in acts of physical or emotional violence, it affects their psyche deeply.
What does sex-addiction mean?
Sexual addiction can be seen as a progressive intimacy disorder. The sex addicts ‘act out’ under a compulsion and they cannot control their urges. Not all sex addicts commit sexual offence or hurt others for fulfilling their needs, but it has been observed that most sexual offenders are sex addicts. Sex addicts engage in voyeurism, excessive use of pornographic content and compulsive masturbation. With time the effectiveness of pornography and other mediums become ineffective for them and they engage more time in performing their abnormal sexual activities. The sex-addicts are incapable of quitting their sexual habits and this impacts their lives negatively.
What are the arousal-templates?
Arousal templates refer to a sum of a sexual-addicts’behaviours, preferences, actions and thoughts. It summarizes his/ her sexual personality completely and thoroughly. With the help of the arousal-templates, psychologists are able to understand the level of disorder in which a certain individual is stuck. Sex addicts generally like to repeat certain acts or enjoy certain scenarios. The pornographic content that they watch and the way they act-out helps in determining the pattern of their arousal templates. Some sexual addictions are legal and perfectly above-board, like watching pornography or enjoying strip-teasing shows on a regular basis etc. Until or unless an individual’s sex-addiction leads them to commit an act of violence on someone else or watching/ making child-porn, it cannot be termed as a crime.
How does an arousal template help in understanding sex-addiction?
Psychologists use the way a sex-addict acts or his/her preferences to deduce the problems, which they might have suffered in their child-hood. The arousal templates are helpful in monitoring a patient’s odd sexual behaviours or activities and link them to their past.
How does an arousal template help in the treatment of sexual addiction?
An arousal template helps the psychologist pin-point the reasons behind the patient’s unnatural activities. Sometimes a traumatic past experience makes a sex-addict enact the situation repeatedly where they take up the role of the victim or the tormentor. Often they do not have any idea why they need to perform certain acts for sexual fulfilment and their thoughts are detached from their actions. To treat such addiction, the sex addicts are prohibited from pursuing their addiction so that they can get a grip over their thoughts and emotions.
An intimacy disorder?
Every normal individual goes through and enjoys these phases of life. However, life of a sex addict is very different. Intimacy is immobilized. They are scared of sharing their true feeling with people they are associated with and therefore, they are unable to connect to the happenings of the outside world. They suffer from an unknown fear within them, which stops them from speaking to each other openly and freely. This introvert character within them makes them unhappy, lonely and sad. They want to connect to the outside world but are not able to. They look for love in the wrong kind of places and tend to fall into bad company. This is a problem, which can lead to bigger problems. The sex addict is not capable to break down the thin wall that deforms and disconnects his sex life from his normal one and hence, he finds it difficult to incorporate himself in a group of people.
Sex addiction may be caused due to innumerable reasons ranging from family life, physical disorders to psychological problems. It can also result due to lack of bonding between a child and his parents; it may be due to negligence by the parents towards child, sexual abuse, or emotional neglect by families who were inflexible, strict or sexually reserved. This failure leads one to distrust and lack of bondage between one another. A strange case is that even when the sex addict is having sex with his lover, he is not within himself. He is fantasizing a different world altogether. Addicts feel that they are enjoying sex with their partners but this is not true. Even addicts who love their partners truly feel their desires take a different turn to call girls, prostitutes and other means.
It’s not always the parents’ fault
Not all sexual addictions are related to childhood. Some problems may arise due to illness, absence or death of a caregiver.
Intimacy disorder is curable, people who are suffering from intimacy disorders can be cured properly. Even we can cure our children of the same by helping them indulge in play therapy. One needs to visit a doctor, or a sex counsellor or a therapist, who would counsel them on the benefits of a normal and satisfying sex life, understanding between a partner and his spouse. Once treated, he can lead a normal life.
The deep scars that sex addiction can leave on your relationship
Sex addiction VS love addiction
Sexual addition is a compulsive disorder, which makes the affected persons crave sexual intercourse most of the time and demolishes their capability of thinking of other important aspects of life. The affected persons might become violent and force their respective partners into indulging in their fantasies. This leads to major rift in relationships. Love addicts are generally people with little experience of receiving love in real life. These people are desperate to be loved but live in constant fear of being rejected. The fear of rejection and break ups dominate their lives, which can lead to violent consequences. Addiction of both love and sex can prove to be ruinous.
Understanding the sufferings of the sex addict:
If your partner is suffering from sex addiction and you want to give him or her a chance of getting back to a normal mental state then it is necessary for you to understand what your partner is going through. Sexual addiction makes a man or woman crave for sexual stimulation just as a drug addict craves for drugs or an alcoholic craves for alcohol. Sexual addiction can instigate your partner to cheat on you. An individual may not be able to control his or her lustful desires while suffering from this syndrome. The characteristics of sexual disorder vary from one person to another. In some people, its manifestation occurs through practicing sexual behaviours which are not conventional or traditional. Others find themselves attracted to ‘hot’ members of the opposite sex. Yet they try to hold onto a steady partner and seek emotional support from them. They suffer from the fear of emptiness, boredom, shamefulness and intimacy. They indulge in non-emotional physical relationships for stimulation that keeps their mind from brooding over the emptiness. Insecurity is probably at the core of such dysfunctions and only experienced psychologists can help in curing them through expert consultations.
Any relationship where one partner does morally wrong things and the other partner tolerates them endlessly is slightly or more dysfunctional. If the love addict forms a relationship with an avoidant then the relationship does not last for a long time. The avoidant initially gives as much attention to the sexual addict as they need but after a while they become emotionally stressed. The constant neediness of the sex addict tires them out and then they end the relationship. Sex addicts generally find a co-dependent partner who desires to be needed. The co-dependent can only be in a dysfunctional relationship where they feel needed. If the sex addict recovers then the co-dependent might leave him or her and find a new dysfunctional person.
Sex addiction is a problem which requires proper counselling and emotional guidance so that the victim can learn to endure the emptiness which is a part of our consciousness. Both the sex addicts and their partner must go through counselling and heal together for building a strong relationship.