You Were Writing the First Messages Totally Wrong! Here’s How You Do It

Meeting people online is a usual thing today. No wonder, every third couple found each other through a dating site or app. If you are interested in international dating or finding a woman from another country, an online dating site is an option for you. If you’re already using a particular service but don’t see any positive results, think of what you might be doing wrong. You filled in necessary information, uploaded some good photos but still don’t get replies from women? Most likely, the root of failure lies in the messages you send. An initial message is the analog of a pickup line. You should make it catchy and conversation-provoking. Read the following tips to avoid mistakes preventing you from successful dating.

Be creative but keep it simple

You should write something original but without going overboard. It’s your first phrase and it should make a good impression on your addressee. In real life, you usually say something casual approaching a girl. The same should be done online. Although indirect communication gives you more time to think and come up with an engaging initial message, be moderate. Despite that Russians are poetic and romantic, it’s not a good idea to flood a woman you’re contacting with exquisite epithets and metaphors (e.g. Your eyes are like the ocean. You are like a rose – beautiful but unapproachable). A simple “Hi. I just came across your profile and would be happy to meet you.” will be a good start.

Address her by name

The sweetest sound in the world is a person’s name. Use this knowledge writing the opening message to a girl. Never use “baby” or “sweety” when you contact a woman for the first time. It refers not only to the first message but to the whole first chat. You are two strangers and you don’t have the right to apply pet names to your interlocutor yet. Addressing her by her name, you show respect and let her see that you don’t send one generic message to multiple women.

Don’t stop after “hello”

You send a message to strike up a conversation. Remember that “How are you?” is not a good conversation starter. Writing the first message to a Russian girl, don’t hope for a reply to the message that only contains “hi” or “what’s up?” What you should know about Russian culture is that when Russians ask “How are you doing” they really mean it, they want to know about their interlocutor’s life. This phrase is appropriate for two people who already know each other.

Trigger a dialog

Saying “hi” is OK, it’s all about being polite. But you should write something more. The best way to provoke a conversation is to ask a question. What to ask? Read her profile and find something that made you write her. Perhaps, it was her hobby or a favorite quote that is the same as yours. Or, maybe, some of her photos really impressed you. Elicit some details about the thing that hooked you. She will appreciate that you studied her profile and respond to your message. Women feel excited when they know a man is interested in them.

Don’t write your bio

Some men think that it’s a good idea to start with introducing themselves to a particular woman in the first message. But it’s not. You are supposed to write that information in your profile. Believe me, women will read everything you wrote (unlike you). If you write the story of your life in your first message, you will seem weird or desperate.

Avoid slang

If you write to a woman whose first language isn’t English, don’t overuse netspeak or, even better, avoid it. Some abbreviations are quite natural, such as LOL, but many of them might be unknown to your interlocutors.

 

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